i grew up in a fairly strict, religiously conservative home. at the time, i didnt perceive it was an overbearing situation. probably because i was a kid, and i looked to my parents for teaching and telling me everything i was supposed to know that would help me be a good, productive adult. and its true, they gave me alot of that. some of it was through words, some through actions, and some through both...one thing i now notice as an adult is how i developed my perception of others.
the elve family were friends of my family growing up. they ate at our house from time to time, had kids our age, and attended our church....but typically only on easter and christmas. bud elve was the dad. he seemed like a good man. he loved sports, interacted well with others, and treated us with kindness and respect. i remember the adults laughing alot when we were all together. its very interesting to me then, that somehow i believed the elve family to be something less than my family. we were better than them. we were more godly. why, as a child, did i perceive this? i dont recall my parents ever saying "we are better than them". or did they? maybe not in their words, but definitely in conversations about people similar to the elves. i remember my parents saying things like, "oh, you know that family. they only show up to church on holidays." or, "the morton family does not smoke or drink beer, cause we are christians." and i do remember my parents once commenting that mr elve did, in fact, drink beer...so, as a kid, it was a natural connection of dots to think that people who drink beer are not christians, and therefore are going to hell. and as kids, it was not ok for us to be around non-christians that often, especially adult non-christians who might have a beer or a cigarette around our influential minds. regardless, i distinctly remember thinking the elve's, while nice people, were ones to keep at a distance, because they were going to hell. if not all of them, absolutely bud, because he drank beer.
i have no doubt in my head mr elve sensed some type of condemnation by my family...if not by us, for sure from others within our church. he probably felt like every eye was on him when the pastor would ask the congregation whether they had given their whole heart to the lord, or whether anyone needed to accept jesus as their savior. if i had to guess, i think he probably felt awkward every time he was invited to the mens group, or asked to play on the church basketball team. i suspect he knew it wasnt all for his conversation skills, his questions about the church or god, or his scoring ability that he was asked to play. i bet he felt it was his soul, and not his shots that were being sought after.
as i think about what it must have been like for him, i realize that i am bud elve.
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