i dont believe in god

i dont believe in god, at least mostly, or maybe i believe in something, or nothing. here is what i think i know.

i dont believe in god as a being.

i dont believe in god as a savior.

maybe its the word, god, i dont like. maybe it brings up too much baggage from my upbringing. or too much baggage from interacting with others who claim to be god followers yet treat themselves and others horribly.

i can believe in god as a concept, i think, but mostly as a means to an end.

god is self serving, and so are people who believe in god.

i believe in coping mechanisms, and if god is what you choose as that mechanism, who am i to say you are wrong.  i have my own coping mechanisms. mostly its sexual activity, with either myself or my wife. could it be with others, absolutely, however i committed to my wife at a level of her trust, that i would be faithful to her in her understanding, not mine. (maybe another topic another time on my idea of marriage.)